12. “Careless Whisper” - GEORGE MICHAEL.
Fock yez all because I’m starting off assertive and strong. I don’t expect any person with a conscious soul reading this to look me in the eye and tell me they don’t fancy this song to some extent, once you push past the saxophone. For some unknown reason, George sunk his teeth into me and I really took to it this year - more particularly, the bridge. I suppose I ought to tell you my ultimate fantasy in life… to be the last one standing at a party - an empty, dark dance floor, lined with the colourful remanence of a jolting shindig. This song blasts over the sound system. I dance like no ones watching (coz they’re not). Just spinning around dramatically and swaying with the last standing balloons. Eventually, the cleaner will switch on the lights and tell me to go home. Sigh.
11. “You’re Acting’s Like It’s The End of The World” - THE DRONES.
Gareth Lillard has an unmovable seat at the table of musicians I want to be sat at a table with, and talk about stupid shite (probs next to Martin Newell and Ian Drury). I’m convinced that he’s not a human being but instead, a lizard, with expansive musical aptitude - an escapee from the science lab where they made the royal family. Scales aside, this track finds its beauty in a couple of folky, tinny guitars - kept tightly in line by some hard driven drums. It’s beautiful in its simplicity and kooky lyrics: “These cities show you to your seat and then they make you eat yourself” - He’s right you know. The lure of the big smoke often fades faster than you can say “anxiety”.
10. “Videodrome" - CARNATIONS.
Hard choice between this and “Garlands”. I’ve written about this song before so I wont bore my loyal readers, all you need to know is this track is pretty good for frolicking in fields, but also for having introspective thoughts on a high speed train. Don’t be afraid to let your body die!
9. “Bean Phaidin” - PLANXTY.
In my veins runs the blood of a groupie because my aunt dated one of the members of this band back in the day. This is pretty huge to me because I focking love Planxty, who served as my main introduction to Irish traditional music apart from hearing it pump outta my brother’s beloved fiddle as a young gun. This song is written and sung as Gaeilge, and follows a classic trajectory of heartbroken hons wanting to break the legs of their enemies! In this case, a jealous and angry heartbroken hon, who loves Phaidin and wants to wreck his woman and run away to Galway with him. This was dutifully explained to me by my family on Christmas Day after about 8 bottles of red - I sat on the floor and soaked it all in like I was a Yorkshire pudding and their songs were a boat load of gravy.
8. “Good Wife” - KACEY MUSGRAVES
God help me be a good wife! <333. This song got me cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming under the table, and baking an apple pie for my husband to enjoy when he returns from winning (gluten free) bread. Life is so simple and so sweet. Country/pop princess Kacey Musgraves makes me swing my feet in the air while I chew the end of my pen and journal hearts around me and my crush’s name. Pop songs like these are necessary because they’re so much fun, and I will never ever renounce my adoration for pop, no matter how punk I become - no matter how much of a judgy DIY music snob I eventually wither in to.
7. “Dancing” - V.I.P.P.
According to external sources, the man behind V.I.P.P, Sex Tourists and Aloha Units is somewhat of a Sydney name stay. I am inclined to agree with this statement, after obsessively soaking up the pagan magic of the V.I.P.P II EP. The melodica in "Dancing" makes me feel like a medieval man moseying around a city for the first time after he figured out how to use a time machine. The lyrics in this song make me go feral, mainly because of the soft and delicate images they conjure up in my mind: “Dancing, in her room. Hoping, to fall in love. Crying, in her room. Because you, fell in love”. That’s what gives this song dimension - the rough noise and aggressive strumming just cannot dull the sweetness I taste in these words. This whole EP carries me around a beautiful low-fi soundscape on the back of a big white horse.
6. “Feeder” - R.M.F.C
I love this shit. The drums at the start make me want to report for duty at the barracks, then tear off my uniform and set it on fire as the song progresses. You can do a lot of things done with this tune as a soundtrack - for example: Going for a jog, planting hydrangeas, open heart surgery and leading a Tonglen meditation. The new record from R.M.F.C has been getting a lot of rightfully deserved attention - it flows smoothly, like your Aunt Linda’s orange fondue machine that’s managed to re-appear each Christmas since 1977. I’m not calling Club Hits cheesy with this analogy, on the contrary, it’s a dignified and debonair article that's sure to please everyone at the table (even your grabby Uncle Rodger).
5. “On Your Own Again” - SCOTT WALKER.
I initially thought this tune was corny when my friend showed it to me over his speakers earlier this year.
Then I thought it was mad cheesy as I gave it another go on the bus home.
Then I realised it was probably the greatest song of all time when I funnelled it through my earphones, skulking around various cities. This is mostly because it transforms me into a lone cowboy who got their heart broken by a dazzling and unavailable woman. It’s a short n’ sweet ode to a love that’s passed, but still floats around Scott’s head - isn’t that how love works? It’s written within the gorge string accompaniment that rolls us out of the track and onto the next like sand in an hourglass. Delicious.
4. “Tonic” - OPTIC NERVE.
This song is so stellar! It reminds me of sweet times in Sydney. There were a few times recently I’d be walking home and I’d just start like, physically running at about 1:33. I be jogging down the lonely pavement wishing I was back being laundered in a Marrickville moshpit - I’ll never feel as clean! Nar, but being serious, the track is technically and indisputably really fuckin’ good. I adore how they blend in the flangy amp sound at the start, and use it as a sort of metronome for the rest of the song. Highly original and creative - not unusual for anything else that’s escaped the Optic lair. What are they up to down there? I imagine there’s a lot of candle wax and hatchets involved…
3. “Eternity” - MAXINE FUNKE.
Maxine Funke is like Julia Jacklin for people who are no longer depressed and want to be able to get back up off the floor after listening to a record. I’ve never heard such ferociously beautiful music in my LIFE! Funke is unassuming, bashfully skilled, and seems to treat music like a thriving garden - with patience, love and a quiet yet devoted work etiquette. “Eternity” is comparable to Dylan’s “Buckets of Rain” with its succinct yet potent lyrics - in this case paired with a sweet and scratchy Kiwi accent, “There was something magnetic about that sea, the flowers on the table, spell eternity”. Her lyrics come together like all the colours of the rainbow because they just make sense as they stand side by side. I want to bite into this song like an apple and also bake it into a pie.
2. “Garbage” - ETERNAL DUST.
R.I.P Eternal Dust. This song encapsulates what I imagine it feels like to be covered head to toe in dirt after walking aimlessly around a field, only to feel the sky turn pink above you as the sun defrosts your face. It rips me apart and puts me back together again, much like the rest of the record: a beat up anthem of Kings Cross. A whispered memory of glitz and glamour, of bright lights and big bucks. I feel elated to have seen these guys a few times over the past years. Every time I’d come away with a renewed faith in Sydney, bathed in blood and diamonds. Damn lol. I gotta sit down when I listen to this, because the guitar and the bass walk around each other in circles and I feel dizzy!
1. “Only a Shadow” - THE CLEANERS FROM VENUS.
Aye, number one!!!!! I heard this song for the very first time when Carnations covered it for their set at Nag Nag Nag this year. I remember thinking, “what is that melody?” and subsequently adding it to 4 playlists after that night, coz I had some kind of heart stopping epiphany standing there in that sweaty, beer-stained crowd. It’s something I like to re-live again and again. The guitar riff is like a nerve synapse in my brain because it repeats 100 trillion times each day, and probably assists in transmitting important crucial information to my crucial important organs. I want to shriek the chorus at every given moment. I want Martin Newell to notice me.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS (IN A WORD).
“Beseech Me” - CLAMM. Uhhhhhhhh, hot.
“Running” - Snõõper. Muscular.
“Nympho” - DJ Assault. Intricate.
“M” - The Cure. Sneaky.
“Reminder” - The Weeknd. (the) Don.
“Leather” - Perfect Actress. Tight.
playlist of aforementioned $awngs
(if you care to listen as you read xx)
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